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Thursday, May 14, 2009

IF DR SEUSS WAS A WOMAN


I'm glad I'm a woman -Yes I am, yes I am.
I don't live on Budweiser, Beer nuts and Spam.
I don't brag to my buddies about my erections;
I won't drive to Hell before asking directions.

I act nice at parties; don't act like a clown;
And I know how to put the damn toilet seat down.
I won't grab your boobies; I won't pinch your butt.
My belt is not hidden beneath my beer gut.

I don't go around re-adjusting my crotch;
or make sure my headboard bears each hard-earned notch.
I don't belch in public; don't scratch my behind.
I'm a woman, you see- I'm just not that kind!

I'm glad I'm a woman; So glad I could sing--
and thrilled I'm not covered in shag carpeting.
Hair won't grow from my ears, Or cover my back.
And when I bend over You can't see my crack.

I'm a woman, alas-- and I'm proud, don't you see?
I'm blessed to have two boobs and squat when I pee.
I don't live for golf, or shoot basketball.
I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal.

I don't need male bonding; I don't cruise for chicks--
I'll never join the "Hair Club", or think with my dick.
I'm a woman, by chance And thankful I am!
I'm so glad I'm a woman, Not a man, yes I am!


http://www.smiles2send.com/imgs/page_imgs/dswv0702/woman06.gif

5 comments:

Cozyflier said...

Oh Dena, I love this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do tell, where did you find this, or were you the creative one?

This is great!!!! This needs to circulate the planet.

Thanks for a laugh fix when I was feeling down.

Sally's World said...

this is so true, loved it, i have to send this to a freind of mine, she'll love it!!!! thanks for sharing ...

RileyScott said...

I would greatly appreciate a warning or disclaimer stating that this does not apply to all men.

I do myself a man, do not fall into most of these categories.

~Thought's By Dena~ said...

Well then because you do NOT fall into these categories Riley..then you can just laugh with US!!! Come on LAUGH!!!!!

Rachel said...

Did you write this? Because I love it!