I'm glad I'm a woman -Yes I am, yes I am. I act nice at parties; don't act like a clown; I don't go around re-adjusting my crotch; I'm glad I'm a woman; So glad I could sing-- I'm a woman, alas-- and I'm proud, don't you see? I don't need male bonding; I don't cruise for chicks--
I don't live on Budweiser, Beer nuts and Spam.
I don't brag to my buddies about my erections;
I won't drive to Hell before asking directions.
And I know how to put the damn toilet seat down.
I won't grab your boobies; I won't pinch your butt.
My belt is not hidden beneath my beer gut.
or make sure my headboard bears each hard-earned notch.
I don't belch in public; don't scratch my behind.
I'm a woman, you see- I'm just not that kind!
and thrilled I'm not covered in shag carpeting.
Hair won't grow from my ears, Or cover my back.
And when I bend over You can't see my crack.
I'm blessed to have two boobs and squat when I pee.
I don't live for golf, or shoot basketball.
I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal.
I'll never join the "Hair Club", or think with my dick.
I'm a woman, by chance And thankful I am!
I'm so glad I'm a woman, Not a man, yes I am!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
IF DR SEUSS WAS A WOMAN
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5 comments:
Oh Dena, I love this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do tell, where did you find this, or were you the creative one?
This is great!!!! This needs to circulate the planet.
Thanks for a laugh fix when I was feeling down.
this is so true, loved it, i have to send this to a freind of mine, she'll love it!!!! thanks for sharing ...
I would greatly appreciate a warning or disclaimer stating that this does not apply to all men.
I do myself a man, do not fall into most of these categories.
Well then because you do NOT fall into these categories Riley..then you can just laugh with US!!! Come on LAUGH!!!!!
Did you write this? Because I love it!
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