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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Ran across these and had to share

I ran across this on the Internet and I just had to share, omg can you imagine doing some of these and seeing the reaction of others. Some of these made me laugh out loud when I was reading them. Which one's are your favorite leave a comment and let me know

Insanity Helpers
Many things to get you through the day.

When someone asks you to do something, ask if they want that super-sized.

Run one lap around the office at top speed.

Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).

Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".

Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

Walk sideways to the photocopier.

While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on and off 10 times.

For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

While a co-worker is out, move their chair into the elevator.

In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, PLEASE! All of you just shut up!".

At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".

In a co-worker's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".

Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet paper from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and donut, smash each donut with your fist.

During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Play a tape of jungle sounds at work all day.

Send this website to everyone in your address book, even if they have sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.

At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom (don't disguise your voice).

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors'.

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think".

Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".

Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

Don't use any punctuation.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Ask people what sex they are.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite sex).

Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.

Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess".

Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, 'Rock Hard'.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week !!!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices in your head that do."


Cheryl said...

There's so many good ones....LOL....but the two that stand out the most are the one that suggests groaning in the bathroom and the one where you're suppose to slap your forehead and tell the voices to shut up.....LMAO! Too if I could just remember them and use them at work...LOL!

~Tom~ said...

I am not sure if I am more disturbed that you would suggest any of these or by the fact that I have done a number of them. LOL

~Thought's By Dena~ said...

I love the groaning in the bathroom one too....that made me laugh so hard...can you even imagine....if I tried doing it Id just start laughing ...hehehehe

oh and Tom some how Im not surprised by the fact that you have done some of these....please do share which ones??? *smile*

Coachdad said...

What a great list... I have not done any of them. Maybe it is time to start!

RileyScott said...

I'm pretty sure doing about 90% of all these things would get me fired, but it was a fun way to start the day. I like the expresso one.

RileyScott said...

thanks for the comment back Dena. I got another insanity helper that me and a friend actually pulled off and it was pretty fun to do. We worked in a restaurant (Dennys) a few years back, and one day my friend says to me when I came in, "Hey let's try something" Always up for a good distraction, we proceeded to hum the theme from "The Great Escape" for the next 8 hours. We stopped when we needed to talk or take orders or whatever, but at any other point we were humming the tune. By the end of the night, the rest of the staff was too. It was great fun.

That's also the restaurant where for fun, I would put on an accent for the night. I was Scottish, southern, English, or Australian any given night. It was a fun way to pass the time, and i got a few phone numbers from drunk girls out of it.

Too bad I'm too nice of a guy to follow up on those. :) thanks again for the comment