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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

is there something wrong with me???

Ever have one of those days you just feel like you want to cry and cry??? Thats the kind of day Im having. I feel that my entire life I have always had to be the strong one for everyone in every situation. And yet no one sees that Im crumbling inside. Last night and now even today so far I just feel like I want to curl up on the bed and cry my eyes out. I feel so very sad inside and so very alone. Sure I have people around me but I feel like no one is paying attention to the fact Im falling apart. Or maybe they see but they count on me to be the strong one so they have no clue what to do or say to me. I have always had to be the strong one and well honestly I think Im at the point Im tired of always doing that I want maybe even need someone to be strong for me, is that selfish of me??? Is there something wrong with me????


RileyScott said...

No Dena, there is nothing wrong with you. Everyone feels the way your feeling at one time or another. Your situation of being a mother means that 3 whole people (probably your husband too) rely on you for there world. Your suppose to be there to clean the scrapes, pack the lunches, and make everything better for them. You always have been, and they hope always will be.

But who comforts the comforter?

Being a husband myself, my wife leans on me for emotional support even sometimes when I need it myself. I have to be strong for her, even when I'm worried and scared myself. The best way I've found to handle these things is to get it out in the open, and have someone listen. Well you did that. Also, if you have an activity that you enjoy. For me, it's videogames, where you can just veg and let your mind escape for an hour, then I think you might find that once you come back to your feelings, that they aren't as bad. Least that works for me.

Hoping you feel better.

Cheryl said...

I sooooo know what you're feeling. I thought I was having deja vu for a minute because I had a post that was titled "What's wrong with me??"....I was sooo in the dumps awhile back that I didn't want to see or talk to anyone..didn't want to do anything, felt like crying all the time....Google "Seasonal Affective Disorder"....I take St. John's Wort (it's a positive mood enhancer) to help with my emotions...and crying it out and talking to Vern helped immensely too. Hope you get out of the dumps soon. Luvs and Hugs!