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Wednesday, February 4, 2009

What about me Wednesday

Going along with the theme for the day I created....what about me Wednesday, I have to write something about myself.....Sooooo here it goes......

I'm a HUGE worry-wart....everyone that knows me tells me this all the time. I stress myself out to the MAX because I worry way too much. I want so bad to work on this but as crazy as it sounds I have no clue how to do that. I know that this past year I was probably the most stressed I have been in a very long time I could actually feel it taking its toll on me physically. I loss lots of sleep, cried alot, suffered from massive headaches. Thats why I know that I have to work on this just wish it was as easy as saying Im not going to worry anymore and it would be gone...yeah right thats not happening over here.
My boyfriend tells me I need to have the "who gives a shit " attitude well I dont think I came equiped with that. I do worry alot about being so stressed as my mom passed away 10 years ago from cancer and I get scared of being so stressed that could happen to me, which in turn just gives me ANOTHER thing to stress about!!!uuugggghhhh So if anyone out there has any ideas on how I can work on not being so stressed out all the time I welcome your advise.


~Tom~ said...

Ok well for starters, reread your post. Do you realize that you are stressing out about how to stop stressing out? I have said it a million times to you, and I saw Riley also said it in another post comment, make time for YOU! Stop the excuses and stop feeling so guilty about it. You need to take care of yourself first. If you don't, and something does happen to you, who is going to fill your shoes when you are gone? No one. Think about it kiddo. Only don't stress over it!

RileyScott said...

Well Tom already mentioned one thing I said, and that actually made the difference in my best friend staying married. But I'll share something else, a technique I've recently begun using.

I'm a huge worry wart too, until recently I was even more so. I made it my New year's resolution to worry less. I know this is kind of broad and unreasonable, but I didn't go in unprepared.

Basically whenever I feel myself begin to worry about something I pass it through a set of criteria.

A)Is it a tangible worry or an intangible one?

If it's tangible it can be solved, if it's intangible then it needs to be filed.

B)Can the tangible worries be fix right now...If so, then fix said worry (Example:I worry that I don't take enough vitamins. Ok, so do a half hour's worth of research and go buy a bottle of centrum and start taking vitamins.) If they can't be solved right away set a reminder to fix it when you can (example: i need new tires, I can't go till saturday, so make an appointment for saturday and said worry should not be thought of again till saturday.)

C)If intangible, put in mental filing cabinet. Then manage your files. What do I mean by this, well it's simple. Example: You think that cause your mom died of cancer, that you might contract it someday. Now there is absolutely nothing you can do about this except to be vigilance and give yourself exams, and go to the doctor regularly. Should you actually contract cancer (not exactly plan A or Y for that matter), then you can move the worry from the file cabinet to the tangible column and start to deal with it. But there is no point in worrying about something that you can prevent, solve, or even predict.

Now, I know that it sounds easy, but it's not, and I'm not going to lie to you, it will be very hard for the first few weeks. What I did to start was to write down all my worries, and put them into columns. For the tangibles I made plans to solve them, and the intangible I filed away and made long term plans to either prevent them from happening as best I could, or to just deal with my irrational fear. My personal victory is over the fear of losing my job. Layoffs happen all the time in my company, and I was always worrying myself sometimes sick, losing sleep, just like you. Then I wrote it down in the irrational column cause there is nothing I can do to prevent it other then do the best I can do at work, which is what I do everyday anyway.

now I'm not saying that you'll get rid of your worries instantly like this. the worries in the file cabinet will continue to try and invade your thoughts, but then you get to play whack a mole. Whenever the thought of possibly losing my job pops into my head, I whack it back down, assure myself that I have a 3 month plan if that happens, and then change my mind's eye to something I enjoy like my wife or a video game, or something else. It will be a battle, but it's one you can win. In 2 months I am now pretty much worry free. I'm happy, I sleep better, and I got rid of my migraines. Which were affected by my stress level.

hope this helped

Cheryl said...

AWESOME advice Riley! I might have to try that myself...I'm not a huge worrier, but I have my moments...I'll have to put this plan into action. :o) Thanks!

~Tom~ said...

I am pretty laid back but have found times I stress a bit. I like Riley's advice. May I add one more thing to the list? If it is not something that is life threatening, it is ok to take a little time to sort it out. Not everything needs to be solved in a day.