Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Id pick smelling...though there would be those things I would miss the smell of I think that would be the easiest thing to live without!
A BIG FAT DAY OFF...AND IM ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING FOR ME!!!!
(that like NEVER happens....but maybe I should start making a habit of it!)
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
He sent me a text last night and told me that he shaved finally and so I told him to send me a picture and this is what he sent me...I laughed my a$$ off because its only a half picture and it looks like a bad mug shot....he's a turd!!!! Now dont get me wrong I have nothing against facial hair but when it starts looking like you have an animal living on your chin its time to do something about it...so I was very happy to see that my Dakota once again is showin off that cute face..without the animal attached!!!
As for Devin he is settling back into the school routine....he's a big 5th grader...the "top dog" of the elementary!! We went last night and got him signed up for 5 & 6th grade tackle football...TACKLE...in the 5th grade oh good lord Im not ready for this....oh I love football and watched the older two play all thru jr high and high school...and Devin has been playing flag football the last couple of years..but this is my baby and hes only in the 5th grade and ....ITS TACKLE!!! ok mom stop.....im sure it will be fine....but man last night when he tried on his pads....I felt a little sad, scared, thinking omg time is just flying by!!! Anyway somehow I will survive this too and will be watching my baby from the side lines..praying he doesnt get hurt!!
And now for my Kody he is leaving tomorrow for Germany...We dont have any idea if we will be able to talk to each other at all while he is gone...and I know some can say its only for 3 1/2 weeks...but this is 3 1/2 weeks of my son being in another country!!! Yes I know its part of the "job" so to speak when you sign up for anything military....but I wasnt the one that was all excited about this in the first place. Yes Ive grown to accept it and yes Im thankful he isnt being called over to fight in a war ..but Im still nervous about him being so far away, and Im still sad not knowing if we will be able to talk while he is gone...I have a really good relationship with my boys and though the older two are away to college they stay in touch with mom ALOT...and I love that!!!! So my heart is a bit achy today knowing that this time tomorrow my koder is going to be far far away..and it will be 3 1/2 long weeks before I get to see him again!
I love them equally,
but not the same -
for each is different
in their own special way.
Everyday I thank God for
the blessings I've received
in having children
as wonderful as these.
*found this poem on the internet*
Thursday, August 20, 2009
To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves ... let us be above such transparent egotism. -- Will Durant
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Today is the first day of school..and my baby is in the 5th grade!!! I keep asking myself how did this happen??? Time is just flying by way too fast...I mean honestly this is the last year of elementary...and since I already have two kids in college I know all too well that once they hit Jr high the time REALLY flies by......man I hope the next 9 months go really slow!!!!! (look at his cheesy grin..he was talking at the same time I snapped the pic...isn't that how it always goes)
Last night Kody came home after work and had Josh's BBQ ribs with us....its one of Kodys favorites. It will be the last time I see him before he leaves Saturday to go to Germany..so of course I had to take some pics..took them with my phone and they didn't come out the best
(sorry its so dark)
And since Im doing a post about my sons I certainly can not leave out my Dakota....the other day when we went to see him over where he is going to college at...he decided it would be funny to show me just how "red-neck" he can be and this is what I got to see
Yep thats my boys...they keep me on my toes and sometimes make
me wanna be incognito!!hehe
But I love them with all my heart and I wouldn't change a thing about any of them....ok other then Id really love to get that thing off of Dakotas face!!! hehe
Monday, August 17, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
I suffer from "social anxiety" it is a torturous emotional problem that most people do not understand. It includes intense fear, a racing heart,blushing,excessive sweating, dry throat and mouth, trembling, swallowing with difficulty, and muscle twitches, and in my case sometimes uncontrollable crying, and bad headaches. People with social anxiety disorder know that their anxiety is irrational and does not make "head" sense. Nevertheless, "knowing" something is never the same thing as "believing" and "feeling" something. People with social anxiety, thoughts and feelings of anxiety persist and show no signs of going away despite the fact that socially-anxious people "face their fears" every day of their lives. Social anxiety disorder compared to some of the other disorders can seem kind of boring..it doesnt have "strange" elements that are visible to others. A person with social anxiety disorder usually shrinks into the background and is not heard. Even professionals typically do not understand what the socially-anxious person is living with, they prescribe a few relaxation techniques, some medication, and tell the person that they are really "OK".
This is highly debilitating for people with social anxiety. It reinforces the fact that you have a horrible, life-restricting disorder that causes extreme anxiety in social situations, AND NO ONE CAN EVEN UNDERSTAND IT, let alone help you. You start feeling like you are the only one in the world that has this disease, that you are a freak, or just weird. You look around and it doesnt seem like anyone else is going thru this or at least not anyone you know. Its hard to find yourself even walking down your own street alone for the fear people might be looking at you and judging you, or even that you might run into someone and then you are forced to say hello, your voice will crack and then they will sense your weak or afraid..and you dont want anyone to know that about you. You find fear in going to the grocery store alone..even though its in the small town that you grew up in...its the fear of people staring at you or again making eye contact and being forced to talk to someone. The fear of doing or saying something to make a fool of yourself. Theres the fear of picking up the phone and making that phone call..even though they cant see you, it doesnt matter, home becomes the only place you feel comfortable. The socially anxious person can’t relax, "take it easy", and enjoy themselves in public. In fact, they rarely relax when other people are around. It always feels like others are evaluating them, being critical of them, or "judging" them in some way. The person with social anxiety knows that people don’t do this openly, of course, but they still feel the self-consciousness and the judgment while they are in the other person’s presence. It’s sometimes impossible to let go, relax, and focus on anything else except the anxiety. Because the anxiety is so very painful, it’s much easier just to stay away from social situations and avoid other people.THIS is what I live with each and every day of my life....my friends, my family, my boyfriend...no one understands it...sure they deal with it because this is how I have always been....but they dont understand it and probably never will. Im a good person, have a good heart, always put others first, will do anything I can to help others out, but dealing with this all my life makes it so sometimes I really hate being me.
Shaking hands and swirling thoughts
Here comes anxiety ready or not
Gasp for air and try to hide
Cant let them see me break inside
Swallow and breath I want to be free
This is my daily fight with anxiety
*found this poem online*
*even posting this has made my anxiety go thru the roof*
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
we had Guitar Hero competitions going on the rest of the night...even the neighbor boy came over and brought his guitar....
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
It was so exciting to see something like this in our small town...thank goodness I had my phone on me so I could snap a picture as we drove by it..because we drove home to get Devin and the neighbor kid to take them over to see it and as fast as it pulled into town it was gone!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
An Armored Humvee
oooooh yes life is good!!!!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
I got this in an email and I thought it was so cute I had to share it...so to all my fellow "whale" friends out there...we have nothing to be worried about anymore!!!
Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:
THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A OR A WHALE?
A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.
To Whom It May Concern:
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.
Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who's skin is all scaly and smells like a fish store?
The choice is perfectly clear to me... I want to be a whale.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
~I definitely need some of this~