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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

hello again

I know its been awhile since my last post and I know Ive lost alot of followers, and I've missed out on alot of the happenings in all of your lives. I apologize for that. Life has thrown me some major curve balls lately and well I have found myself lost....Im almost scared to write here for fear someone in my life might read it and take offense, but then again it is MY blog and it is for me to write about MY thoughts and MY feelings...right????? But I also dont like to cause problems with anyone so once again I find myself not feeling like I have the freedom to just vent!!! Im just curious though, has anyone out there ever let a family member or members move in with them??? If so how did it go??? Did you survive it? After they moved out were you still on talking terms??? We have house guest and well its ALOT different then what you think its going to be like, and you truly do see another side to people and sometimes its not such a good side. Along with us dealing with house guest, we also have been dealing with the fact my oldest Kody, who is the National Guard just found out he was chosen to go from his unit to another one that is heading over to Iraq in January. We thought he was safe as he is still in college and his unit is a new unit, what we didnt know is that you are only safe the first 2 years of college, and that if you score the highest on everything they can pull you from your unit and put you in a different one, and thats what has happened. Im not taking this news very well, Im actually falling apart. My boys are my world, and it is just too hard for me to accept the fact hes going to be sooooo far away and for a year!!! Im so used to daily phone calls, and him showing up for the week-end or going to spend the day with him on my day off, I just cant think about going a year without seeing that smile, and feeling his bear hugs, having him here to raid the cupboard for food, or calling me up asking me to listen to his paper he wrote for class. I know he's doing something good an it is for all of us, but my heart is aching so much and it is killing me inside thinking about being so far from him. I feel like I wont be complete again until he returns. I cant even make it though this post without crying my eyes out. And yet I know that I have to dig deep down inside and try to find the strength to get though this, and I feel like all my strength is gone. I pray that I will survive this and most importantly that Kody will come back home safe and sound, I know I have a couple moths before he goes although most of it he will be in Texas for training, I pray the next year will go by fast, and that we will find a way to be in touch with each other often. When he was asked by someone if he was scared to go, he said he was more scared to tell his mom he had to go, just that let me know just how much my son truly loves me. He's my rock, my heart and soul and we will truly need your prayers to get though this next year!!!

Mom, why are you crying?" he asked his mom.

"Because I'm a woman" she told him.

"I don't understand," he said.

His mom just hugged him and said, "and you never will." Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason" was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to GOD. When GOD got on the phone the man said, "GOD, why do women cry so easily?"

GOD said:

"When I made women she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world; yet, gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. This same sensitivity helps her to make a child's boo-boo feel better and shares in her teenagers anxieties and fears.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him falteringly.

I gave her a tear to shed, it's hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed. It's her only weakness; it's a tear for mankind."