RIP Pillsbury Doughboy

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications
from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 73. Doughboy was buried in a lightly
greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects at his funeral, including Mrs Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies. Captain Crunch sent his apologies. The gravesite was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy in the graveyard and lovingly described
Doughboy as a man who did not realize how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose
quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was
not considered a very ‘smart’ cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked
schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, even as a crusty old
man, was considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Playa Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they have one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly
father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

~REST IN PEACE~