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Friday, January 30, 2009

people watching

Im a people watcher. I like just watching what people are wearing how they are reacting to things and people around them. What they are eating, drinking whatever. I could probably entertain myself for hours if I went and sat in the middle of the mall somewhere and just watched people. Now what Im about to say I truly do not mean it to sound mean and I hope no one takes offense to it. But have you ever seen someone that is wearing something that you just can't for the life of you figure out how they thought that looked good????? That one kills me everytime. People wearing horizontal stripes with vertical stripes or colors that totally clash, or something that is 3 times too big for them, uuugh guys with their butts hanging out of their pants instead of inside of them where they are suppose to be!!!!!!! Or someone wearing something that is 2 times too small for them and we are blessed with seeing every single flaw known to man (I have flaws too Im a chunky monkey but I just dont go showing it off for the world to see!!!). I think we've seen it all. And everytime i see the way some dress I honestly stop and wonder.....so did they put it on and say" hell yeah I look good!!!!" Because then it brings me to the question...what about me??? When I got dressed today I looked at myself in the mirror and thought this looks pretty good, ok some days I think I look better than other days, but still I have never put something on and thought wow this doesnt match, or its way too big, or too small, and still left it on and went about my day. So what if in my mind I think I am looking good but honeslty Im one of those people others are looking at and thinking what the hell was she thinking???? hehehe just something to think about *smile*


http://www.myflowerclipart.com/images/illustrations/thumbnail/33_goofy_man_wearing_mismatched_clothing_while_carrying_purple_flowers_for_his_blind_date.jpg

T.G.I.F

Its Friday and it got me to thinking about being a teenager , fridays were so exciting I mean we waited the whole long week for friday to get here so we could start our awesome fun filled week-end!!!! So now that we are adults do you feel like you still get just as excited over it being friday??? Or is it just another day for you????? Leave a comment and share if fridays are still as exciting for you as they were when you was a teenager, or if they are just a nice break to the work week ,or just basically another day of the week!


http://images.zwani.com/graphics/days_of_the_week/friday/images/friday25.gif

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Another thought for the day

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings



I have a good friend that tells me all the time to learn from the so called bad things that happen in my life...and honestly if you do look at those times as a learning experience it does help!!










Here's the video to the song that Riley is talking about in the comment below...enjoy it!!!

oh those kids

I do child care in my home and yesterday was too funny I have a 4 year old girl and her brother that is 2. So the 4 year old was showing me how she likes to bend her head down and make her hair flip down over her face and then "swiiiing" it back over to her back. She asked me to do it so of course I did it too and she and her brother laughed and laughed well then all of the sudden her brother who has been sitting across the room watching us do this whole swing our hair over our face and back to the back again thing decides he wants to try it, and he reaches up and grabs what little hair he has and says Dena its stuck, its stuck. Now I know this is one of those times that it was way funnier if you was actually here to see it. So as Im typing this Im still getting a chuckle out of it!!! Well anyway his big sister who thinks at 4 years old she knows it all tells him he can't do it. So he comes to me as serious as can be and says Dena it all fall off (meaning his hair of course) I said oh no it all fall off??? And he looked at me as if he wanted cry. Made me so sad I almost wanted to give him some of my hair..hehehe anyway his sister says to him. Jason it didnt fall off dont you remember dad cut it off!!!! And then she looked at me and said Dena tell Jason that your hair can't fall off!!! Oh kids...this is exactly one of the many reasons I just love being with kids they always find a way to make you smile. I started my day off yesterday feeling all sad but before it was over I was smiling and laughing and so glad that I do what I do for a living because even though I have the role to make a diference in their little lives they truly make a difference in mine as well!!!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

SNOW FOR VERONICA



You asked for snow.....Im giving you snow!!!!! The one pic is on my patio furniture I just wrote in it for you....and the bottom one is out back in my flower garden , doesnt look so good this time of the year!!! hehehe

cool story about MY soldier


My oldest son joined the National Guard this last year and even though I wasn't very excited about it. I have stood by his side, and I couldn't be more proud of him and the man he has become. He had guard duty this past week-end and during that time they have to remain in uniform where ever they go. He said he and a buddy was at the gas station and was picking up something to drink and a couple was in there and insisted on paying for their drinks. My son said he couldn't understand why , the man of the couple said we just want a way to show you we appreciate what you do for us. My son told him we are just in the National Guard and this man replied saying its not JUST the National Guard its a commitment that you made to help us as a country and for that we are very thankful. While my son was telling me this it brought tears to my eyes. He may just be National Guard and maybe he will never get called over to fight in a war but he is a part of standing up for our nation, and that couple was right we should find ways no matter how small they might be to let each and every soldier that crosses our path know that we are thankful for the commitment they have made for us as a nation.

LIFE IS A THEATER Invite Your Audience Carefully

I ran across this today and it made me stop and think..there is so much truth in it so I wanted to share it....hope it means as much to you!!!

Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives.
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a DISTANCE.
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of, or at least
minimize your time with, draining, negative, incompatible,
not-going-anywhere relationships/friendships.
Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention.
Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know or appreciate you?
The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of Your Life.
"If you cannot change the people around you, CHANGE the people you are around."
Remember that the people we hang with will have an impact on both our lives and our income. And so we must be careful to choose the people we hang out with, as well as the information with which we feed our minds.
We should not share our dreams with negative people, Nor feed our dreams with negative thoughts.
It's your choice and your life..... It's up to you who and what you let in it......

is there something wrong with me???

Ever have one of those days you just feel like you want to cry and cry??? Thats the kind of day Im having. I feel that my entire life I have always had to be the strong one for everyone in every situation. And yet no one sees that Im crumbling inside. Last night and now even today so far I just feel like I want to curl up on the bed and cry my eyes out. I feel so very sad inside and so very alone. Sure I have people around me but I feel like no one is paying attention to the fact Im falling apart. Or maybe they see but they count on me to be the strong one so they have no clue what to do or say to me. I have always had to be the strong one and well honestly I think Im at the point Im tired of always doing that I want maybe even need someone to be strong for me, is that selfish of me??? Is there something wrong with me????

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

GOOOOO TONY!!!!


Race season is about to begin and woohoo Tony Stewart has his own race team this year!!! Im sooo excited I can hardly stand it. Ive been a Tony fan for awhile ask anyone that knows me I make them crazy!!! heheh Ive turned my youngest into a Tony fan and My boyfriend who wasn't even much into Nascar before he met me is now a big Tony fan too!!!! Im so looking forward to seeing how this race year goes. And watching Tony kick some butt!!! Oh and what makes it super awesome is that my second favorite racer is Ryan Newman...who now just so happens to be Tonys team mate...OMG This is going to be a great year!!!!!
Gentlemen start your engines!!!!!!!!


This makes me SO UPSET

This post might make some upset and if it does Im sorry this is just my personal feelings about a subject that has become so public. I don’t know how many of you have been following the Caylee Marie Anthony case but we watch Nancy Grace at night and she always has the latest updates on what’s going on with it. This is the case of the 2 yr old Florida girl that was missing for a month before her mother said anything to anyone about it. And then 6 months later her remains were found near the neighborhood where the grandparents live. This has been something that from the get go tore my heart apart and now as the investigation into all of this is going on I find myself feeling all kinds of emotions. The mom of this precious 2 year old is sitting in jail as the suspect of killing her own daughter and though you are innocent until proven guilty. The way things are stacking up against her it most definitely isn’t looking good for her. Last night on the Nancy Grace show there was a guy that actually made a Caylee doll and is trying to sell it for $29.99!!!! Can you even believe this!?!?! Of course if you have ever watched Nancy Grace you know that she ripped into this guy....I loved that part!!!! But it left me just sitting there the rest of the night thinking what is wrong with some people that they have nothing better to do then to try to make money off of other peoples misery. I mean this is a poor innocent 2 year old girl that has been killed and possibly by her own mother and this scumbag wants to cash in on that by making a Caylee doll??? AND who on earth would want to buy it and be a part of that??? This man was trying to say that a small portion would go to a charity but of course he had no idea which one or even how much would be donated. I mean honestly I will send the money directly to the charity before Im going to purchase a doll . Its so upsetting to me to know that we live in a world where there are people like this!!!! Sure times are rough and everyone is looking for a way to make some money but let’s be serious!!!! FIND A WAY TO DO IT THAT IS BENEFICIAL TO PEOPLE NOT MORE HURTFUL AND JUST PLAIN DISGUSTING!!!!

My thoughts and prayers are with this little girls grandparents, and uncle and hope that they soon can find some sort of peace in their lives. *HUGZ*


Caylee Marie Anthony
~may you rest in peace little angel~


crossing paths

I just want to say that it is really nice that once in awhile in life we meet some really awesome people that make us just so happy that at that moment we just happened to be at the place at that time and they crossed our path. It might be in our every day life while at work, the store, church, the library, anywhere or it might even be over the internet. I've meet some really awesome people in my life over the internet. Sure like most of you Ive met some that I've thought wow Im glad Im a thousand miles away from this person!!! hehehe But two of my closest friends I met on the internet. And just in the short time I've started blogging I've met a couple really cool people and I just wanted to say it is nice to know that there are still some really good people in this world we live in. And Im glad that those of you that mean something to me that we just happened to cross each other's path.


There are those who pass like ships in the night.
Who meet for a moment , then sail out of sight

with never a backward glance of regret.
Folks we know breifly then quickly forget

Then there are friends who sail together,
through quiet waters and stormy weather

Helping each other through joy and through strife,
and they are the kind who give meaning to life

~Anonymous~

Monday, January 26, 2009

The snow this morning

Just thought Id share a couple pics I took this morning...it snowed over night and is suppose to snow some more tonight. Temps are below zero with wind chill..brrrrr Im glad I have an inside job. My poor boyfriend does land surveying and he is out in this stuff!!!!



Look new pads for the patio furniture..hehe



Brody seems to get all excited in the snow..right here Im trying to
get him to come in the house and he's looking at me like oh mom!



Brrrrr poor birdies...they just gotta be COLD!!!
it's -8 out there!!!!




Look even the car is COLD!!!!

thoughts about age

This week-end had me thinking about AGE, mostly because it was a week-end I was feeling soooo old, you've been there before too, right????


Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.


'How old are you?' I'm five and a half!' you're never thirty-six and a half, you're five and a half, going on six! That's the key.


You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.


'How old are you?' I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!


But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed.


You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50.


But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would.


So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.


You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday.


You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90's, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'


Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.' I'm 100 and a half!'


Anyway I hope all of us make it to a healthy 100 and a half!

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Thoughts for the day


1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them!'

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle.' An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's

4. Enjoy the simple things

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help

9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity


*Share your thoughts for the day or even which of these you like the most*

Thursday, January 22, 2009

what would you do???

My dad just stopped by and had to tell me what just happened. He went into the local Pump& Pantry to get himself a cup of coffee on his way in he seen what he thought was a dollar bill laying on the ground by the door so he stopped and picked it up and shoved it in his pocket. Went in got his coffee talked to the lady behind the counter for a few minutes and then went back out to his car. He reached in his pocket and pulled out again what he thought was a dollar bill and was going to put it in his billfold. Then he noticed it wasn't a dollar bill at all, it was a hundred dollar bill!!! Well then he said he sat there thinking about it and felt he would feel too guilty if he kept it so he went in and handed it to the clerk and said he found it by the door. He said she looked at him like he had just lost his mind. She told him she would put it in the safe and see if anyone came in to see if it was found. Now, Im thinking once my dad left..what would I have done???? I know without a doubt if I had actually seen someone drop it I would of given it back to that person no doubt at all, but if the same thing happened and I was just walking up to a business and I found a hundred dollar bill laying there would I take it in to the store clerk??? hmmmm what about you??? Leave a comment and let me know what you would do!!!!!!

Also...how many of you think the clerk really put it in the safe and didn't just pocket it herself???

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Ran across these and had to share

I ran across this on the Internet and I just had to share, omg can you imagine doing some of these and seeing the reaction of others. Some of these made me laugh out loud when I was reading them. Which one's are your favorite leave a comment and let me know

Insanity Helpers
Many things to get you through the day.

When someone asks you to do something, ask if they want that super-sized.

Run one lap around the office at top speed.

Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).

Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".

Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

Walk sideways to the photocopier.

While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on and off 10 times.

For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

While a co-worker is out, move their chair into the elevator.

In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, PLEASE! All of you just shut up!".

At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".

In a co-worker's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".

Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet paper from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and donut, smash each donut with your fist.

During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Play a tape of jungle sounds at work all day.

Send this website to everyone in your address book, even if they have sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.

At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom (don't disguise your voice).

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors'.

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think".

Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".

Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

Don't use any punctuation.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Ask people what sex they are.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite sex).

Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.

Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess".

Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, 'Rock Hard'.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week !!!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices in your head that do."

Happy 60th Birthday Dad

Today is my dads birthday, he turns 60. I sit here thinking once again wow where has the time gone? I dont know why the fact that he is 60 seems so impossible after all Im the oldestof his kids and Im 40. But for some reason it seems like there should be no way he is 60. My dad has had a rough life and he has gone thru alot of different heartaches in his 60 years. But through it all he finds reasons to stay positive, and he is always looking for ways to help those who need it. Last week he went to wal-mart just to buy those from church that he knew was struggling some groceries. Now my dad certainly isn't made of money. But he always finds a way to give a helping hand to those in need. And I truly hope that this year he gets some of that back in return. He deserves it. I love you dad and I wish you a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Heres to you dad:

Life Lessons

You may have thought I didn't see,
Or that I hadn't heard,
Life lessons that you taught to me,
But I got every word.
Perhaps you thought I missed it all,
And that we'd grow apart,
But Dad, I picked up everything,
It's written on my heart.
Without you, Dad, I wouldn't be
The woman I am today;
You built a strong foundation
No one can take away.
I've grown up with your values,
And I'm very glad I did;
So here's to you, dear father,
From your forever grateful kid.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Average Size of the American Woman

The average American woman is 5'4", weighs 140 lbs, and wears a size 14 dress.

The "ideal" woman--portrayed by models, Miss America, Barbie dolls, and screen actresses, is 5'7", weighs 100 lbs, and wears a size 8.

One-third of all American women wear a size 16 or larger.

75% of American women are dissatisfied with their appearance.

50% of American women are on a diet at any one time.

Between 90% and 99% of reducing diets fail to produce permanent weight loss.

Two-thirds of dieters regain the weight within one year. Virtually all regain it within five years.

Young girls are more afraid of becoming fat than they are of nuclear war, cancer, or losing their parents.

50% of 9-year-old girls and 80% of 10-year-old girls have already dieted.

90% of high school junior and senior girls diet regularly, even though only between 10% and 15% are over the weight recommended by the standard height-weight charts.

Anorexia has the highest mortality rate (up to 20%) of any psychiatric diagnosis.


These statistics just make me crazy, What I find amazing is if they say that the average woman is a size 14 then why is it that when I go shopping for clothes that what I find plastered everywhere is size 2, 4,and 8's , I have to actually go searching for the "average" woman size and its hidden back behind the racks with all the teeny tiny sizes. By the time I find them I'm worn out and don't feel like shopping anymore. If we are the average size then why don't you put our size out in front, why don't we have more models our size? why don't we see more actresses on TV our size. oh wait we do they are the one's that are now doing commercials for Jenny Craig, and nutri system, I guess so they don't have to be average anymore. I wish that we could just live in a world where it didn't matter our size. That you could just be you and not have to worry about if you are a size 2 or a size 22. And that if you happen to be a size 22 they still make clothes that are stylish for you too, and they aren't always hidden back behind the racks of size 2's. It would be really nice to know that a man walking down the street still looks at you and finds you attractive too. I mean there is a show on TV now that is talking about true beauty and if you watch it you get to see that those tiny little size 2 women who think they are all that actually suck!!! See what starving yourself does to you?? heheh ok that was just me being funny. But honestly it's time that we start realizing that if the average size of a woman is 14 and up then there should be alot of happy women out there and we shouldn't all be thinking we need to go on a diet, because hell we have set the mark, we are the AVERAGE size so we shouldn't have a thing to worry about!!! According to the statistics the average woman is only 5'4" and well I'm over that one and I sure in the hell am not going to try to find a way to shrink myself....so I'm learning and hope so many others learn that
sometimes we shoot for unrealistic goals or sizes for ourselves, or we get influenced by what we see on TV or in magazines. Don’t get down on yourself because you’re not a size 2! Love who you are and be the best you, you can be, no matter what your size is! And as far as those men go..if hes the "ABOVE AVERAGE MAN", he'll think you are sexy no matter what size you are!!!!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Ten years ago


Ten years ago today I lost a very important person in my life...my mom. Today I went and put flowers out on her grave, its over a hundred miles from where I live and I try to take new flowers there as often as I can. I was so sad today when I got there and seen that there was no flowers there at all. Usually my old ones are still there waiting for me to replace them but today even those were gone. I picked out some pretty white with pink on the edge roses. I know its not the season for roses but it was a flower that mom would grow and always be so proud of. She had some that where GIANT and oh so pretty. Josh had actually asked me this morning if I wanted to go and put flowers out for my mom and that meant so much to me that he suggested it before I even said anything. So Josh and Devin went with me when we got there I talked about how when Devin was a little younger we had gone there and made a tiny little snowman with stick arms that were different sizes it was too cute, talked about how Devin and I have gone and just sat down right there and talked about grandma, Devin was only 8 months old when mom died so he never got the chance to get to know her like the older boys did. But I have talked about her and tried hard to keep the memory of her around us always. I will admit though that its hard sometimes. I mean we have pictures to look at to remind us of how she looked , and letters she wrote to remind us of her handwriting, the things she made us to remind us of her crafty side, I even still have some perfume of hers that reminds me of how she smelled. But what I dont have is her voice. I hate that, I can't remember what she sounds like. I mean sure if she was to talk to me today I would know it was her. But its the fact that I dont get to hear it anymore that makes me sad. And I dont get to feel her touch, man have there been so many times in the last 10 years that Ive needed that. But I know that she is with me each and every day. I feel it, she listens to me when I talk to her, and I await for the day she talks back to me. I love her and I miss her so very much.
You are with me always mom.
For you mom:
A thousand times we needed you
A thousand times we cried

If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died

A heart of gold stopped beating
two twinkling eyes closed to rest

God broke our hearts to prove he only took the best


Never a day goes by that you're not in my heart and my soul

Friday, January 16, 2009

on a personal level


OK this one is going to be a bit more on a personal level. I have three awesome boys. They truly are the loves of my life. I was lucky enough to be able to be home with my kids as they were growing up. The older boys dad and I divorced when they were 6 and 7. He was a very controlling man and after 8 years of trying to make it work I just couldn't take it anymore so I left. I ended up meeting my youngest sons father and thought he was the complete opposite of the first one. I ended up being wrong. He too was controlling and had anger problems that resulted in abuse and the end of our marriage. I was left a single stay at home mom of three boys and I suffer from major anxiety, trying to figure out what I was going to do now. The man that I thought was always going to be there for me and with me for the rest of life was not the man I wanted in my life at all. I felt very scared and alone, not to mention I now felt I had lost so much trust in people. Mental , emotional , and physical abuse does that to a person. But I looked at my boys and I knew that no matter what I had to make this work, and I had to give them the life they deserved to have. Those three boys gave me the strength I didn't even know I had. They gave me the courage to go out and get a job for the first time, and show myself that I could do this. To this day I still have the same house, we have cable, phone, gas, lights, and food to put on the table. And I did it without getting help from the government. My two older boys are in college and when they are both home I think it's one of my most favorite times ever. Sometimes I sit back and wonder wow where did the time go??? How did my kids grow up so fast!!! I'm so proud of them, they made it thru high school never got in trouble with the law, never got in trouble in school, both got good grades although it came easier for Kody and Dakota had to really work at getting good grades, but he did it. Both held part time jobs, participated in sports. And never forgot the importance of our family. They are both in college doing what they want to do,and still holding down part time jobs, plus Kody is in the National Guard, and as mom I couldn't be any more proud of them. I still have Devin at home he's 10 and he is the perfect combination of his two older brothers. I now am working at home which works out great for me so when Devin has breaks from school I don't have to figure out what I'm going to do with him. He's such a good kid and so much help to mom. This morning he even went out and scooped the snow before I took him to school. He did this while I was getting ready. Now honestly how many kids are going to do that, and without even being asked to do it???? I just feel that even though life has given us our fair share of hard times and we still are going thru them. That thru it all I was given three of the most wonderful gifts ever and that's Kody, Dakota, and Devin. I truly believe it is time that parents start taking more time and appreciating the awesome gifts we have in our kids. Everyone wants to point fingers at why they think our youth is the way they are. I think its time parents sit and take a good look at themselves and see if the real reason that their kids might be the way they are is because of the parent. Seems that now a days everyone is too busy, everyone is too self absorbed, everyone wants to blame it on other factors, but I think everyone has forgotten that our first responsibility is to our children. How can we expect them to know whats important in life if we aren't doing that ourselves. I hope that thru all the things that have come our way and all the obsticles I've had to try to overcome that my boys have learned from them, and have realized that they can get thru anything. And that always no matter what I will ALWAYS be there for them and I will ALWAYS be proud of the men they are and the men they are becoming. And I thank them for teaching me so much, and giving me the strength to keep going. I love my boys and they truly are my heart and soul!!!!

Oh the world we live in

You turn on the tv, radio, pick up the paper and we hear and read about how bad our economy is and how everyone is wanting a hand out from this bailout. Well now I heard that even the porn industry is wanting their share!!!! Im left speechless, I mean honestly I cant decide if that pisses me off or makes me want to laugh my ass off!!!! Oh the world we live in!!!! We have people taking bids for their viginity, porn industries needing bailout money, what on earth is next??

Thursday, January 15, 2009

something I heard on the radio

Ok I was driving my youngest to school and I had the radio on when I heard them talking about some 22-year-old woman who is selling her virginity online , offering her body to bidders nationwide in an auction that reportedly has netted a $3.7 million offer , and the law isn't doing a thing to stop her. They say the FBI isn't interested. The U.S. attorney doesn't care. Everything is fine by local police, and she isn't breaking any laws. The 22-year-old California college grad, is marketing this in Nevada, where prostitution is legal, it has had more than 10,000 bidders. And to top it off the winning bidder and this 22 year old will do their thing at a brothel called the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada. Im sitting here thinking you have got to be kidding me!!!! I mean someone is willing to spend over 3 million dollars to have sex with someone because they say they are a virgin???? Honestly does this even make any sense??? I mean sure we all know that there are people that just have so much money they don't know what to do with it, but we are living in a crisis where there are plenty of ways for you to use that money for some good that could benefit many people in great need. And if this person wants to say oh but the money is going to be used to finace this 22 year old and her sisters way thru grad school, (which is what this 22 yr. old is saying the money will be used for) Then Id have to say if thats what you are wanting to do then start a scholarship fund and help finance many thru school. I realize this is just my opinion, but to me its ridiculous the things that some people will do just for their 15 minutes of fame. Instead of doing something good that would last much longer!

My First blog

Well here we go trying something new. Ive been told by my boyfriend that I should start my own blog because I have morals and beliefs in things that he feels so many in this world have just forgotten about. They send us into whirlwind discussions at times but as he says it keeps us on our toes!!!! So this is your intro into what goes on in my mind..so fasten your seat belt and hold on tight!!!! Oh and be sure to leave your comments, Id love to see what you have to say!